Ask yourself......

Is it worth it............................?

Life has taught me so much about patience, handwork, happiness, but still, I can't get enough of life like it never bore me at all... and this morning while I looked at the many facets of life, how I have been living my little life, it occurs to me, is it really, I'm living my life now?



Life as it is, is full of surprises, sometimes it irritates us, sometimes it brings joy to us, sometimes we wished our life is so much better than others. As for me, the joy of having a daughter, a perfectly healthy girl is the best gift I have ever received. A lot has changed ever since she was born, I'm becoming more patient (but sometimes I just lose my grip and there are times I just can't tolerate her tantrums...) Being a mother is not something you learn from text book of novels. It looks so frigging easy in the movie though.

On daily basis, at the end of the day, I'll always ask myself what have I done today? Do I whine too much until I forget to be grateful? Have I done enough today, so if i die tomorrow, I'll rest in peace because I've done what I'm supposed to do.....

For the first time in my life I begin to understand how a parent might hit a child - it's because you can look into their eyes and see a reflection of yourself that you wish you hadn't"  

 Jodi Picoult, my Sister's Keeper..

It is indeed reminds us of who we are, the purpose we are here and the responsibility we need to carry...... I wish to be a good mother and a grateful person... My child, my only one is a gift from love, I should shower her with so much love you can imagine.... Somehow, taking care of her requires so much sacrifices, patience and I really need to have a full grip of myself. To tell you the truth I lost control much of the time... Being a mother is indeed a hard task to do. I admit. 

Hence, I'll take a deep breath, I will always remember, she is an AMANAH from Allah.... furthermore, she's the one who puts the smiles on my face.

Again, I'll ask myself, is it worth it? So far, I'm still living my little life and make the most of it...